Flummoxed

Flummoxed (flum-moxed)
adjective
bewildered or perplexed



yes. i'm flummox. i'm confuse with myself. 
i can't even understand myself lately. 
one time i'm proud with myself then 
next
i'm blaming myself for anything that cross my mind

i'm emotionally unstable.
i knew it.
i just knew it.
am i having a bipolar disorder?

cause if i do
i'm gladly to go for a check up
oh yes i am

i am willing to be locked in a room all for me
and cure myself.

have you ever thought of killing yourself?
to be honest, not once in my life
have i ever thought about it
but lately

things change...

for the first time of my life,
i thought about what if i hurt myself
by hurt, i mean sleeping
by sleeping, i mean that

lately, my life is full of "what if"
what if this
what if that

i don't know what is wrong.
no
nothing is wrong

but
everything just seems so wrong.

no you don't understand
you'll never understand i guess
because everything seems so wrong in all perspective way

to be honest!!

ohh i don't know. i can't describe things right now
i feel like everything is just mess up
but i can't think of one particular thing that is mess up.

my mind is full of rubbish
again, to be honest
but nahh later they'll gone

how to escape from this hassle?
someone please tell me how.
i need it
i need it so badly.